Over the past week, shit has kept coming up, crazy shit, cool shit, Nada shit- the kind of shit you never even expected but happened anyways. I have no idea where I am starting from but let me just say this, on our side of the soiled earth, always do what other people cannot do, do you. It would be bad to twist your personality to fit other people’s expectations when your core and spirit speaks otherwise. like what your friend finds funny, if the things that amuse their silly selves are not your usual cup of tea, its not a battle or a boxing match, throwing in the towel won’t pinch any nerve ending on your beautiful body. Its quite simple actually, put on that grin that shapes your mouth like a burnt plastic jug and walk away. Go spliff up a Marlboro or light up some sensia, or just walk and let your memories tickle the emblems of your being. People will call you crazy at times, many times even but you know the mantle that holds your being together. The craziest people have fertile imaginations, their existence has shaped the world. Just remember how different you are and smile, elongate your life on this world.
I was talking to an old friend the other day on phone. This is a guy who would inspire you back in the day when jumping over Mwalimu’s fence for mangoes was the thing. He would warn with dire consequences spattering out of his little black mouth. His premonitions about you falling off a weak branch often came true but what always numbed my mind was how his idea of stomach upsets were linked to the yellow mangoes from kina Njeri’s. He was a beautiful souls nonetheless and it was always joyous being called out on Friday for our outstanding devotion to academia and writing. I was the go to guy for Swahili write ups while he was the guy who spewed pure Queen’s lingo like a pro on paper. My scores shot up to straight A’s in his company. Not that I always copied his exams, this guy was too old for his wisdom. Fast forward to 2015. The sound of my voice paints crates of beer in his mind. HE is an alcoholic and a bad one at that. Stories of him lying in mud in the outskirts of town abound. He has lost his front teeth in bar brawls and ill fitting second generation liquor. My heart goes out to him, a friend who is wasting away with each passing day. May be there was no one to tell him how beautiful a being he was and still is. May be ha want acceptance from other folks in college, he never accepted himself as the lotus that he was. he instead decided to be a magnolia, craving attention from any soul and anyone who gave attention, he was a spirit whore, that old friend of. He changed to fit into uninformed norms, misguided by the naked allure of life unachieved in empty fantasies. he never fathomed or got to know life as it is. He is suffering and I am afraid he will suffer so for long if he does not turn the tide of his waves.
If he had the true power to understand himself, he wouldn’t spend his homeless nights in filthy chang’aa dens, he would smell like he was yesterday, he wouldn’t be heading to rehab next week. I hope the confidence will come through and lead the way to his happiness. he is still a young man and we are all aware that what ifs have to be made into living dreams.
That is the kind of shit this earth swallows. This is the kind of shit that balances the world, the kind of shit that makes nature seem so unnatural.